Daily Ramble 4 - THE NEWZOID TIMES

March 23, 2020

I offer the NewZoid Times as a form of artistic entertainment with philosophical and therapeutic overtones for our times. http://newzoidtimes.com/

I created it more than 10 years ago (closer to 20) to automatically collect news headlines, disassemble them and reconstruct them as false headlines. Graphic design by Marija Miljkovic.

It has been running without human interference for all that time. It allows voting for the latest fabricated headlines; those with the most votes are archived.
It allows you to add in your own written headlines and see the result in complete privacy. There's more to it - but that's the essence.

Present circumstances, with an overwhelming virus presence in the original news headlines, is somewhat reducing the variety of its raw material and hence reducing its humor and absurdity. Perhaps a visit to the archives, going back to 2015 will give you a better idea of how it functions in less fixated times. http://newzoidtimes.com/archive

(The "Stream" feature can also be fun and the "About" section is a wild trip going back to about 2001 I think, in a sort of science-fiction mode, probably inspired by Stanislaw Lem)

Also, it can be amusing to try the Write Your Own feature and see your headlines, chopped up and mixed into the output, as demonstrated below.

For example, I entered the following five headlines in the slots available for adding in
your own headlines (I could have just repeated the same one five times.)

Daniel Young Hides from Corona Virus In Luxurious Cave
Daniel Young Sleeps For Ten Hours
Daniel Young Eats Bagel With Ricotta Cheese
Daniel Young Avoids Contact With Other Humans
Daniel Young Takes Showers Twice A Day

Then, when I refreshed the page to get new headlines, the ones I had influenced
showed up with asterisks in front of them, visible only to me (unless I copied them
and shared them with others as I am doing now.) The influence of my inserted
headlines continues every time I refresh the page until I clear the ones I have written.

Here are some of the immediate results:

* Legendary country singer Kenny Rogers Avoids Contact With Other Humans
* Conan Takes Showers Twice A Day
* Senate Eats Bagel With Ricotta Cheese

and, best of all, this one:

*Daniel Young is the weird distraction we need right now

Of course the NewZoid Times is imperfect - but hey, it's totally non-stop automatic manipulation
of unpredictable language material.

At it most profound, the NewZoid Times demonstrates the powerful operation of chance
in human life and the universe.

Good luck to us all!

END