Daiy Ramble 24 - POETRY AND WATER

April 13, 2020

POETRY AND WATER

At cockset yesterday ("cockset" is a conflation of cocktails and sunset) I thought I would ramble about water, a substance I find endlessly seminal. But, overnight, a desire emerged to talk about poetry and what I consider to be the crucial poetic qualities. And I felt a reservoir of pent-up thoughts ready to be expressed on the matter.

I begin with a couplet I composed many years ago while floating in the bay off Louse Point.

Of all the joys of summer's bliss
None can surpass the floating piss.

Frivolous or shocking though it may seem at first, this is a model of poetic art. It demonstrates many of the qualities I look for in great poetry. Deep truth/insight, musicality/rhyme, supreme word selectivity/brevity.

First, I think it will be granted that this couplet is an expression of of a profound truth, so I won't elaborate on the matter. Sunbathing or barbecuing do not come close.

Second, it has a satisfying rhyme, not forced, just naturally linking two central words of the thought. The rhyme gives pleasure and engages memory.

Third, it has a pleasing rhythm when read or recited - with the additional virtue of a sibilance running throughout (the repeated s echoes the pissing sound) However, that is actually surplus because, as you know, pissing while immersed in water is silent. In theory I could have incorporated that idea. I could have extended the first line with a two-syllable word before "summer's", perhaps "sultry" or "secret." Yes, that would allow me to make the second line "None can surpass the silent, floating piss."

Of all the joys of secret, summer's bliss
None can surpass the silent, floating piss.

Not bad, in addition to adding more sibilance, this makes explicit a dimension of secrecy and enlarges the psychological complexity of the truth being expressed. However, since I feel or hear a certain awkwardness in the "secret" appearing to describe the summer, it would be better to make it "summery" so "secret" and "summery" both describe the "bliss" and hence, the "piss."

Of all the joys of secret, summery bliss
None can surpass the silent, floating piss.

I started this ramble with the intention of illustrating my thoughts with more poems. But I got caught up in an attempt to improve an old poem of my own. Well... that leaves plenty for later.

But there is one additional short poem which might make a fitting close, the famous Frog Haiku by Basho, (1644–1694) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matsuo_Bash%C5%8D

Furu ike ya
kawazu tobikomu
mizu no oto

There are scores of translations, but few capture the onomatopoeic quality of the last line.

The best, in my opinion, are by Alan Watts (1915-1973)

The old pond,
A frog jumps in:
Plop!

and Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)

The old pond
A frog jumped in,
Kerplunk!

And that leads me to wonder whether my poem can be transmuted into a sort of haiku.

The summery bay,
A swimmer floats:
Piss!

Well, in a way, this ramble was about water, or, at least, we spent some time in the water.

END